The AcoustiBobs on the Web!

The AcoustiBobs bash out a sizzling combo of Rock-n-Roll Oldies,
some Classic Country, some Newer Oldies, and a Smattering of Original Songs for your Rock and Roll pleasures…

“An evening with the AcoustiBobs is a Guaranteed FunFest”

DenBob, with Enough Forehead for Four Heads, Rocks a Left-Handed Guitar Strung Upside-Down, Sings Right-Handed Vocals And Keeps the Ball Rolling.  
  
DaveBob Strums Six Strings Strung Straight on an Acoustic Guitar, Crooning Ethereal Vocals and Heavenly Harmonies from under a Sweeping Shock of Shimmering Silver Hair.
                                                         
PeteBob Plucks an Electrified Bass Guitar (when plugged in) and is Invaluable with his Witty Stage Banter, his Own Unique Vocal stylings and Overall Enthusiasm.                                                                                                          

PaulBob Pounds the beat on Skins, Cymbals and PeteBob (if he stands too close). He is the Ruler of Rhythm, a Vital Virtuoso and the Picasso of Percussion.

DenBob is played by Denis Kramer        PeteBob is played by Pete Pollack DaveBob is played by David Wilke         PaulBob is played by Paul Chamberlin

BOBBY SHERMAN (Ice Cream Truck Company Owner)
SHAWN CASSIDY (Drives a truck for Bobby Sherman)
GARTH BROOKS (Clown for Children’s parties)
PETE BEST (Chauffeur for Ringo Starr)
BILL WYMAN (Works at the “London Guitar Center”)
VANILLA ICE (Swimming Pool Cleaner)
MC HAMMER (“Port-A-Potty” Cleaner)
DAVID CASSIDY (Emcee at “SIX FLAGS OVER SAN PEDRO”)
LEIF GARRET (Heroin Dealer)
COREY FELDMAN (FERRIS WHEEL Maintenance Man)
COREY HAIM (Corey Feldman’s Assistant)
CHERYL LADD (Telemarketer)
MICHAEL RICHARDS (Chauffeur for Ving Rhames)
MEL GIBSON (Bishop at St. Vitus Parish in Hosanna, Utah)
GARY COLEMAN (Lawn Jockey at the Tiger Woods Estate)
STEPHEN BALDWIN (“Born Again” pamphlet peddler)
DANIEL BALDWIN (Alec Baldwin’s errand boy)
MILLI VANILLI guy who isn’t dead yet (Sex Slave)
OJ SIMPSON (CONVICT)
GARY BUSEY (Crash Test Dummie)
JAKE BUSEY (Gary Busey’s Son)
TIFFANY (Longaberger Baskets Sales Woman)
SLY STALLONE (Peddler of Steroids on TV stations in Asia)
SLY STONE (Driver for Sly Stallone)
FRANK STALLONE (“Handyman” for brother SLY)
CHER (currently in hiding while planning another farewell tour)
JACK OSBORNE (Kelly Osborne’s Agent)

DONALD TRUMP’S “DONALD TRUMP”
JAMIE LYNN SPEARS’ “CONCEPTION”
RUSH LIMBAUGH’S “SNAKEOIL”
PARIS HILTON’S “BOYTOY”
ROD BLAGOJEVICH’S “DENIAL”
LARRY KING’S “LAZARUS”
OJ SIMPSON’S “CONVICTION”
STAR JONES’ “THINNER”
BRITNEY SPEARS’ “BACKSEAT MUSK”
MEL GIBSON’S “LATIN MASS”
BARRY BONDS’ “TAINTED”
LIZ TAYLOR’S “HUSBAND #14”
J-LO’s “EGO-MIST”
GLENN FREY’S “EAGLES REUNION”
NICOLE RITCHIE’S “MANCHEESE”
JOAN RIVERS’ “OLD MUMMIE”
LINDSAY LOHAN’S “HAS-BEEN JASMINE”
ROSIE O’DONNELL’S “CHUM”
BARBARA WALTERS’ “TOMBSTONE”
JOHN GOODMAN’S “BACKSWEAT”
DON HENLEY’S “ECO-GREENPOND”
BOB BARKER’S “RETIRE-MINT”
ROGER CLEMENS’ “INJECTION B-12”
BARBRA STREISAND’S “LENTIL-YENTIL”
PHIL SPECTOR’S “SMOKING GUN”
BUD SELIG’S “TARNISH”
AL ROKER’S “NUTTY PROFESSOR”
SAMMY SOSA’S “PINE-TAR”
TOBY KEITH’S “COWPIE”

by DenBob, with apologies to GregBob Lake

Pete(Bob) was a Cub fan
Until the end of 2008
Leading the league in victories
Until the playoffs, they were great

Ooohh, what a Lucky Fan he was
Ooohh, what a Lucky Fan he was

PeteBob was in heaven
The team was the best he’d seen
Better than 2007
Better than Bartman ‘03

rousing chorus

Three bullets from the Dodgers
The Cubs bled as they cried
No money they spend could save them
So they lay down and they died

spirited chorus

Pete no longer cares
For the Cubs are no longer his team
No stress anymore in the summer
He shall live much longer than me

fist-pounding chorus
(Dave and Pete struggle with kazoo solos)

ACTUAL
ILLINOIS TOWNS

FEGG
SHERMMY
BULLARD
SULFUR BEACH
SHELLER
FRAKUS
BLUBBERD
MALLARDTOWN
GIGGY
AUNT AGNES
HIGGENDORK
SOUTH BURPEE
FRANKSVILLE
SMELTER
KNOBB
MUDVEIN
FORT EDNA
THURTHTON
EAST-SOUTH ROY
CLOWNTOWN
MT. PILOT

HERE’S A FEW EXCELLENT REASONS WHY CELEBRITIES SHOULD NOT EVER ENTER A RECORDING STUDIO

HEARTBEAT by DON JOHNSON
PARTY ALL THE TIME by EDDIE MURPHY
SHE’S LIKE THE WIND by PATRICK SWAYZE
Whatever that stupid song was by DAVID SOUL
Whatever that stupid song was by KEITH CARRADINE
FAR FROM OVER by FRANK STALLONE*
(*although technically not a celebrity)
ANYTHING BY BRUCE WILLIS
HONORABLE MENTION and the Luckiest Man (he had white horses) that ever lived besides Lou Gehrig: JIM BELUSHI
HONORABLE FRIAR: KEVIN BACON

I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU IF YOU OWN ANY RECORDINGS BY: (unless it’s for comedic purposes)
JOHN TESH
KATHY LEE GIFFORD
STEVEN SEGAL
PARIS HILTON
ROBERT GOULET
LINDSAY LOHAN
J-LO
JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT
LEONARD NIMOY
WALTER BRENNAN

Absolutely HORRIBLE DUETS
STATE OF SHOCK: Mick Jagger & Michael Jackson
SAY SAY SAY: Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson
EBONY AND IVORY: Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder

1. BLUEBERRY PEELER
2. ALMOND CRISPER
3. TANGERINE SMOKER
4. PINEAPPLE CUSPER
5. BANANA DEHUSKER
6. PEANUT DESALTER
7. GRAPE SKINNER
8. PISTACHIO DYE KIT
9. RED ONION BALLER
10. MELON BROASTER
11. RASPBERRY PRESS
12. MANGO CROCK
13. CABBAGE BARREL
14. SPINACH KILN
15. CATFISH WISP
16. GARLIC SYRINGE
17. STRAWBERRY PITTER
18. OLIVE BREECHER
19. SWEET POTATO FRAGGER
20. CARROT SPREADER
21. CAKE FROSTER
22. JALEPENO SPRIGGER
23. EGG SHAKER
24. SHRIMP CLAMMER
25. RUSSETT NOODLE FACTORY
26. PUMPKIN SPOON
27. APPLE BRINER
28. RICE KERNEL COUNTER
29. GINGER ROOT SPAGGLE
30. EGGPLANT SLING
31. TOMATO DESEEDER
32. NAVY BEAN WAXER
33. POTATO COLLANDER
34. ASPARAGUS GRADER
35. BUTTERBEAN SQUASH KNEFFLER
36. RAISIN DEHYDRATOR
37. NECTARINE PRETZELOR
38. CELERY STRAINER
39. PEA SNAPPER
40. SWEET CORN EMULSIFIER
41. WATERMELON KRAIG
42. GREEN BEAN BASTER
43. SCALLOP MINCER
44. TURNIP JUICER
45. CRANBERRY MILL
46. PARSNIP GRINDER
47. ZUCCHINI OXIDYZER
48. CANTELOPE CUP
49. ORANGE DEPULPER
50. HABENERO MISTER
51. RADISH SHIMMER
52. PASTA HARVESTOR
53. GARLIC SPLITH
54. BELL PEPPER WHEEL
55. MULBERRY DIVIDER
56. PRUNE HUTCH
57. LIVER FORK
58. YAMSICLE MAKER
59. CHEESE SPRITZER
60. OYSTER SQUEEZER
61. BRUSSEL SPROUTER
62. ONION MITT
63. TURKEY DRESSER
64. BROCCOLI CISTERN
65. DUTCH OVEN CHEMOIRE
66. WALNUT FENCH
67. STRING BEAN SHEGGER
68. LETTUCE OILER
69. CATFISH FEY
70. MARSHMELLOW ROASTER
71. PEACH PIT TEA MAKER
72. CUCUMBER DEFUSER
73. PUMPKIN SEED AIR-ATOR
74. BUDDY HACKETT POPSICLE MOLD
75. ONION VALDALIATOR
76. 3 STOOGES ICE CUBE TRAY
77. SALMON SKIMMER
78. COFFEE MAKER FILTER TREE
79. CUPCAKE SPRIDDLES DISPENSER
80. HAM HOCKER
81. PEANUT SHELL POCKET APRON